


You Light My Fire

by akissontitan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asahi Stressing Out: The Fanfiction, Birthday Presents, M/M, character with anxiety, noya birthday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 16:21:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4967869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akissontitan/pseuds/akissontitan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the 10th of September, and it takes Asahi eighteen seconds of staring blankly at his calendar to figure out why the date made him think twice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Light My Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birth to Noya!!!!! My most beautiful effervescent Son who is also Me.
> 
> (This is totally a present to myself as well bc I really like writing dumpy little fics where it's like 90% Asahi ruminating himself into an early grave)

It's the 10th of September, and it takes Asahi eighteen seconds of staring blankly at his calendar to figure out why the date made him think twice.

The tenth. Noya's birthday is the tenth, albeit the tenth of next month. Asahi has never forgotten, since he was first told; after all, their birthdays are on inverse dates. The first of the first and the tenth of the tenth.

If Asahi were a more confident man, he might have dared to infer that their respective dates meant something. A symbol. Fate, maybe.

But, as it stands, Asahi is not confident, least of all when it comes to interpersonal relationships with cute, fiery underclassmen who make his stomach flip. He tears his eyes from the calendar, grabs his school bag, and heads out the door.

\--

It's the 23rd before Asahi thinks about Nishinoya's encroaching birthday again. Or rather, it's the first time since then that he thinks about it to the point of feeling strange.

And it is a _strange_ feeling that he's feeling. The team is doing warm-up laps, so the knot of anxiety in his stomach is at least partially covered by the familiar strain of exercise in his muscles, but his mind is free to roam unaffected while his body runs on autopilot.

When he thinks about Noya's birthday, he feels anxious. This is a given - every emotion and action Asahi experiences is followed by a sweeping undercurrent of fear and worry. He knows he shouldn't dwell on that part. He ignores the anxiety, and picks at the remainder of his brain with each loping pace.

When he thinks about Noya's birthday, he feels something not dissimilar from anticipation. Nervousness too. Also present: that special type of warmth you get when you think about people you care for being happy. Excitement. Sadness. Affection.

Probably a few others.

Asahi can't tell what this means, aside from the fact that those are probably too many emotions to feel about the 17th birthday of a friend.

He barely registers the footfalls of light, steady feet until Nishinoya is upon him, clapping him on the back and telling Asahi that he's gotta go faster, he's got kohai to impress, after all!!

The fear inside him makes his stomach lurch, and he stomps his tsunami of feelings down with every clap of his feet against asphalt.

\--

It's the first of October, Asahi's heart pangs every time he thinks about Noya's birthday, and he's decided he's fed up with it.

Therapists always tell him to confront his fears, tacke his problems head-on. Figure out his feelings and act on the ones that will lead to the best outcome.

And he's tackling, alright. Covered in craft glue and string and a little bit of glitter, Azumane Asahi is tackling.

Do his strange feelings stem from being sad over the thought of Nishinoya having a bad birthday? Is he afraid that he'll ruin something on the day and Noya will be so offended he'll never speak to him again? Is he excited, because this is a socially acceptable chance for Asahi to surprise him with something nice and make him happy? All distinct possibilities. He's not quite sure. But he's _tackling_ , dammit, and as he looks down at his glitter-coated fingers, he's pretty confident that choosing this path is going to lead to the best outcome.

\--

As always, inevitably, his confidence fades.

In the nine days following his late-night, nebulous-emotion-fuelled craft binge, Asahi finds himself becoming less and less excited for Nishinoya's birthday, and more and more nervous that the gift he worked so hard on is completely stupid.

It's especially painful because Nishinoya himself is clearly becoming _very_ excited to turn 17, and is taking every opportunity to say so. Loudly.

He aches for how badly he wants Noya to be happy. And yeah, he feels selfish to think it, but when he looks at the little firebolt jumping around and laughing so freely, he wants Noya to be happy because of _him_.

\--

It's the 10th of October. Asahi has never felt so _much_.

They are mostly bad feelings, which makes him feel kinda guilty, which makes him feel worse all over again. Scrolling through facebook to see what seems like hundreds of people wishing Nishinoya a happy birthday has his throat going tight with anxiety, and getting ready for school seems like an unreasonable ask when his limbs feel like they're made of lead.

He tackles.

(He tries.)

He shoves Nishinoya's birthday present in his pocket and walks to school, the gift burning a metaphorical hole in his pants the whole way. It burns like _stupid_ , like _he's gonna laugh at you_. Like, _as if you haven't let him down enough._.

Noya has a small crowd surrounding him, mostly comprised of the volleyball club, when Asahi first sees him at the school gates. He watches, tentative, as Tanaka presents him with a video game they've been talking about for ages. Daichi and Suga offer a container filled with cupcakes, and Kiyoko waves goodmorning and says "happy birthday", and Asahi's pretty sure he's never seen Noya more overjoyed.

He rubs his fingers against the present in his pocket. He takes it out and quickly stashes it in the smallest pocket of his bag; safe and discreet where he can't use it to make an ass out of himself. He turns around, and walks into the school building.

\--

 

It's October 14th when a flash of orange catches Noya's eye.

Not that that's unusual, or anything. Lots of things catch Noya's eye, and orange is a common colour to see, especially in the gym locker room. But this is a very small orange thing, slightly shiny, and half-fallen suspiciously out of Asahi's bag.

How can he be expected to resist.

He picks it up, allowing it to dangle between two fingers as he inspects it. Woven string. Largely orange, but also with a few strands of black and yellow. There are a few beads braided in, and delicate spots of shiny gold glitter painted on them. It's definitely home-made, but the attention and care put into it is clear.

Obviously a token given as a confession to their ace from some girl.

Noya kinda wants to die.

"Asahi!!" he shouts, a grin across his face although it doesn't sit comfortably, "Who made you this? Bet she's offended that you're not wearing it!"

Asahi freezes in place from where he's drying his hair, and the terror on his face is immediately apparent.

"Nishinooyaaa, do you _have_ to go through other people's things without asking?" Suga moans. "But like, also, what is that?"

"It's nothing. No one made it for me. Can you put it back please."

Asahi's responses seem so clipped with fear that Noya almost considers doing what he asked.

But nah.

"Sooo," he starts, drawing the sound out as he flips the bracelet around his finger, "if no one made it for you, does that mean _you_ made it for _someone_?"

Asahi turns red and stares at a tile on the floor. Suga sighs dramatically. From behind the middle set of lockers, Tsukishima stage-whispers _"Can those two just figure it out already?"_

Things become slightly clearer.

Noya moves to put the woven cotton back where he found it, suddenly pretty ok with the idea of pretending that none of this ever happened, but the soft sound of Asahi's voice makes him pause.

"I made it for you, actually. For, um, your birthday."

The audible confirmation is not a surprise, but Noya feels his cheeks heat all the same.

He stands up straight. "Were you ever planning on giving it to me?"

Asahi still can't meet his eyes, and he shakes his head as a response. "It was stupid. I didn't want you to think--" He trails off, but Noya allows it. The whole team is doing a pretty piss-poor job of pretending they're not all listening.

He takes a step closer toward the upperclassman, and gently grabs his right hand before he can allow himself to think about it.

"Well, do you wanna tie it on me?"

He watches every furrow of Asahi's brow until eventually he nods, taking the bracelet back out of Noya's hand. Asahi's (huge, warm) fingers feel nice around his wrist, Noya notes.

If takes him a couple of fumbling tries, but soon the knot is secure and Noya is sporting a totally cute accessory, as meaningful as it is attuned to his style. It's even the right size, and Noya smirks to imagine Asahi fretting in his room about getting the design and wrist measurement exactly right.

He's never taking it off, probably.

Asahi still looks like he's about to go into cardiac arrest, but that's pretty normal. Noya isn't too worried.

When he's reasonably certain that the rest of the team has gone back to their own business, he stands on his toes and plants a very quick, very discreet kiss on Asahi's burning cheek.

"That's punishment. For being such an over-thinking loser." Noya whispers, fidgeting with the bracelet at his wrist. "And it's also a thank you."

Asahi honest to god _whines_ and puts his face in his hands, and it's moments after that they're being herded out of the lockers to go home.

Noya thinks he knows exactly what he feels. When he thinks of Asahi, it's like sparks, like fireworks and screaming in a really satisfying way. 

He decides he doesn't care that Asahi missed his actual birthday. When they're together, it feels like he's gotten every wish from every candle he ever blew out.

**Author's Note:**

> I know Noya isn't turning 17 this year (I think??? he's 18??? my Son is so old and wise now) but I wanted to write a fic for current canon. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Come talk to me about how wonderful my volley children are over on [tumblr](http://nixiad.tumblr.com)!! Also please take time to show your appreciation if you liked reading this! Comments are always received with joy and screaming!


End file.
